it’s all an experiment
Control is an illusion. Nobody knows what they’re doing. It’s all an experiment.
I’ve had an interesting history with control. From growing up being taught that having too much control over my own life was a bad thing to some 20 years later rebelling against that very idea, taking ultra control of all life’s details. I tried to manage, coordinate, manipulate all the details of my life.
I have since found that either end of the spectrum doesn’t work for me. It’s in a happy medium (that doesn’t always feel happy) where I’ve learned and am learning a form of surrender that feels both scary and empowering.
There’s a lot that I want to think I control about my life. It feels safer that way. But at the end of the day there’s truly so much that I am simply riding the wave of. I don’t like this. It’s frustrating. It hurts. It’s uncomfortable and sometimes it’s exhilarating and beautiful to let the fabric of life just catch and carry me.
Being held is scary and vulnerable and worth it. There’s something so liberating about saying I have no idea how this is going to go, so why not try?
This is the energy that birthed this work. If I remove the parameters and simply listen and follow what is indicated, what could be possible? These pieces emerged through conversation and directed me as much as I directed them.
I think we all know that life is really long and life is really short. It’s my hope that you walk away from these pieces feeling a little bit more permission to experiment in your own life towards the things that really light you the fuck up.
It’s always worth taking the swing. Always worth giving it a try. Always worth betting on yourself.
it's all an experiment | 31"x41" acrylic & latex on canvas
in love | 3"x3" mixed media on canvas
in joy | 3"x3" mixed media on canvas
free | 3"x3" mixed media on canvas
time sometimes tells | 4"x2" mixed media on canvas
this is how the heart makes a duet of wonder and grief | 4"x8" mixed media on canvas
it is there that I'm adrift, feeling punctured by a holiness that exists inside everything | 4"x8" mixed media on canvas
and I am so sad | 4"x8" mixed media on canvas
you're ready | acrylic & latex on canvas paper
curiosity lets the light in | 10.5"x11" mixed media on cardboard
of course it's messy it's life | 12"x7.5" acrylic & latex on cardboard
support looks a million different ways | 7"x12" mixed media on cardboard